Thursday, July 26, 2007

Plans which are not well thought out.

In an effort to better myself and stop saying so many damn curse words, I have instituted a "cursing jar" in my office. Except I call it a "cussin' jar". Because I live in East Tennessee.

I am charging myself a fine every time I curse. The fine is 25 cents.

It is currently 8:26am. There is a total of six dollars in the jar.

Also? An IOU for $12.

Additionally? I think I really need to rethink this plan. Because I'm paying myself. And frankly? That just motivates me to curse more. Because I really need a new pair of capri pants.

Maybe I should give myself a quarter every time I don't say a curse word. Like when Moron #12 that I work with comes in and says something really stupid and I don't say, "You are a damn waste of sperm!" and instead say, "You are like a monkey flinging poo at the zoo." He'd probably get the point anyway, right?


I don't know. I really want those capri pants.


Anonymous said...

Buy the pants. Some of the asshats you work with sound like they deserve to be called a waste of sperm :)

CPA Mom said...

I just bought three pairs of capris for BlogHer. And I didn't even swear to get them.

Get the pants.

Keep swearing.

Keeping it real.

Sleeping Mommy said...

LOL @ the "I really need a new pair of capri pants."

Anonymous said...

I can just picture you shoving dollar bills into your jar as you say as many swear words as humanly possible to get those capri pants.

Hopefully they're on sale and you will have "earned" them by the end of the day today...

Angie said...

My favorite line. . . "the IOU for $12."

hee hee

Alpha Dude said...

I had a nicely framed sign on my office wall that reads,

"If you are Grouchy, Irritable, or just plain Mean, there will be a $10 charge for putting up with you."

A guy walked in and handed me $20.
Payment in advance.


Victoria Dehlbom said...

I enjoy spending my time thinking of things I can say so that no one in the office gets that I am calling them stupid, lazy, etc. It is more fun than a jar for cussin'.

I bet you say "neck-kid" too! I'm from Virginia and I do. It makes me sound foreign since I live in Washington State.

Em said...

LOL...I love how rapidly the money is piling up! Maybe you could make a rule where the stupid person puts money in your jar every time they choose to speak.

Rachel (Crazy-Is) said...

Fuck it! Just buy the pants. It's just easier!

Jhianna said...

Make them pay when you cuss - it's their fault anyway, right?

This is my new personal favorite: You are like a monkey flinging poo at the zoo. Hee!

SJINCO said...

Oh curse jars....

Between you and I, if you know I knew you and lived close or something like that - hey maybe even if I worked with you -

We'd be rich.

I curse like a sailer.
And I like it!


my4kids said...

"monkey flinging poo at the zoo" I love this mostly because my sister tells a story about this happening to her when she was a kid!

Buy the capri's Chick, you deserve them anyway.

M said...

Dude I wouldn't even pretend to do a curse jar.

Though really truely? The idea of you cursing makes me want to pee myself every time I imagine it because I'm a geekadork. And a half. Clearly by that made up word.

So. Capris. Buy them. You so deserve them. And then some!

Real Life in South Carolina said...

You crack me up. I need a "Cussin' jar" too. Maybe I should designate the proceeds to a charity. Then I'll be Cussin' for a Cause!

frannie said...

shit--- just go buy the pants! :)

Jocelyn said...

Raise the fee to 50 cents per curse, and you'll have those pants by lunchtime.

Unknown said...

Now I just want to go shopping. Damn! Oh I owe myself money...haha.

Unknown said...

Maybe you can give the money to your kids and tell them it's cussin' money. And then tell them that if they ever cuss that they have to pay YOU. Of course, then it will take forever to buy your capri pants. So you'll need another plan for those.

My f-in two cents.

Oh, and my password below was "bdaft".

Anonymous said...

If I had a cussin' jar (I live in AL so it is cussin' for me, too), I'd have to get a job in order to pay it.

And I really don't want to go back to work.

But when I did work, I went to a seminar and one of the things they told us is that when someone says something and you want to say F You, just say Thank You!.

Would I have to pay the jar for Thank You? Is it the thought that counts? (as I break open my kids piggy bank)