Thursday, October 11, 2007


I suck as a writer.


I've been trying since last November to write a novel. Last night, as I was agonizing over double spacing, I realized something really profound.

I am not good at this.

It's not really a novel, it's just a bunch of random pieces that I'm trying to put together in my head, and it's not working.

I hardly ever get good ideas for stories anymore. When I was younger? I had literally dozens of characters in my head at all times, poised for greatness. I could develop any of them into something amazing. I had complex plots. I had the music picked out for the movie adaptations.

I had...something.

Now? Not so much.

Recently I did come up with a really good idea for a story, but I can't find an ending. Also? It's not really good. And? It's told from the point of view of a man, and I don't understand men at all.

Then? I had another idea about a story about this woman? Who is really jealous? And tries to kill her ex-boyfriend's new wife? But then weird stuff started happening on my blog and I got scared off from that.

So now I'm left with a conundrum.

Because writing the next breakthrough novel? Will be really hard if I suck at writing novels.

I wonder if there is a market for telling short stories in which you make fun of people? I'm pretty good at that I think.


frannie said...

you should just print out your blog and take it to a publisher-- cause this? is pure gold.

Anonymous said...

Maybe write what you know. Write about a working mom of twins who lives in Tennessee.

I'm so with you. I would love to write the next GREAT novel. But, I live in fear of that chick that got disgraced for plagerism last year. Cause, I remember exact quotes & I could see me accidentally doing that. Oh, and I have a problem with character development, too. So, I doubt I'll ever write anything more than my own epitaph.

Heather {Desperately Seeking Sanity} said...

Why does it have to be fiction? Why can't you write persona stories (names changed to protect the innocent, of course)... you're a good writer, and you're funny. And there's a whole section at the book store for humor. And I self publish... it's so easy... and it will list you at all the major bookstores....

Kim said...

I agree with the first noter. :) Your blog is great!

I, on the otherhand, have a horrible time putting my thoughts into words and usually end up sounding stupid.

Dreamer said...

I have an idea! Just print out all of your post, and make them into a book.

Post secret does it and makes tons!

Of course, you may have to change details, and edit out really personal stuff.

It would be funny. :-)

Denise said...

Chick, just take a break for a bit. i have been working on mine for five years. It took Margaret Mitchell 9 years to write gone with the wind you know :) Oh and who ever said that writing a book was easy? It is damn hard, and i get stuck all of the time.

Mrs. Booms said...

There is ALWAYS a market for making fun of people. I would read that... All Day Long... :)

Angie said...

I think you are perfectly suited to write a collection of essays .. . reflections on buttnozzles and coneheads that live around you.

Seriously - rather than making stuff up -- your reflections on your life, and the world around you -- would sell TONS.

I know I would buy one. . . .if you autographed it for me. (And used your real NAME for Percy's sake!)

You know. . .like "Sam Venable" only with boobs and really cool hair!


Anonymous said...

You're a kick ass writer! Anything you get published, I'd buy multiple copies of for myself and my family/friends.

Get to writing :)

Patiently waiting said...

I agree with everyone else, you're a great writer! This blog alone would make a great book. I loved your style of writing when you told the story of how you and Jason met so maybe you could do something along those lines. Don't give up, you'll find your niche.

Joey said...

Some writers have made there whole careers about that.

Series of narratives.

Shanilie said...

You're a great just need to get a book published so that

1. I can buy it and read it

2. so that you can hire someone to do all the little details :)

my4kids said...

I agree with the others and Frannie! Your blog is golden, Chick.
You could write the same types of stories like you do your posts. Short chapters would be perfect for me since I don't get a lot of time to read somedays. Thats why I love blogs so much!

Anonymous said...

Open letters!!!! Me want a book of your open letters!!!! They're brilliant and if you don't do it soon, you know some evil person will steal the concept from you. Get your best of so far in a book to the publisher's NOW!

SJINCO said...

Open Letters is a great idea! And you write them so well...

Maybe you should write an Autobiography? Maybe?

Whatever it may be it will be great, because you are that good.

Dawn~a~Bon said...

Laurie Notaro does it and sells lots of books; I think you should try it!

J said...

I think that you could do great short stories.

Or? Write articles for a magazine or something. It.Would.Rock.

Thea @ It's Me Vs. Me said...

Dude, you rock as a writer! You're very sharp. You don't give yourself enough credit.

Maybe you should shelve (heehe, get it) the novel idea for a bit and switch to short stories for a book in the humor section at the book store. Anecdotes is your thing.

Wenderina said...

I first read your blog this morning when only 1-2 people had commented. I was so flabbergasted at your claim to "suck at writing" that I had to leave and come back later. Now, with all of this commentary you can see you've started a readership already. Wanna get published quick - aim for a magazine? or maybe a letter to the editor? Use some of the on-line services to publish your own book of short-stories. Pick a theme - Adventures of a Girl Scout Leader (funny observances, touching notes about seeing the future women in the young girls, etc.) There are so many incredible ideas and contents in your blog - you don't need any other characters.

That all being said - if you've read Candace Bushnell type books that focus on little vignettes - you have lots of material.

As an english major, I only have one critical comment on your blog to date. Make sure to use too instead of to when you indicate "also". Other than that, I wouldn't change one single thing in your writing to date. It's captivating, inventive, touching, funny, all in one.

Kimberly Vanderhorst said...

I'm going to be different. I'm not going to say that you don't suck, because? I have no idea. Having never read a work of fiction by you, that is. Non-fiction wise? You are fabulous. And that's what all your loyal readers here are reaving about.

I still think you should compile your open letters into a book. Seriously.

Have you heard about nanowrimo yet? I just signed up. So freakin' nervous.


Write a memoir, like Augusten Burroughs or Susan Jane Gilman. Basically a blog with chapters about your crazy life. They can be very popular, Burroughs' "Running With Scissors" was made into a major motion picture.

Real Life in South Carolina said...

You could write a story about two ninja twins who save some chick from a tight-pants-wearing boss...just brainstorming here...but it might just turn into something good!

Rachel (Crazy-Is) said...

I saw Catwoman's comment and yeah! Open letters!!! That would be an awesome book! I would totally borrow, I mean, buy it.