Monday, December 17, 2007

If you really want to know.

So I thought I would take the time to answer some of the questions I've received in comments and email lately.

Okay, really? I'm sick of working and having a crabby-ass day, so this is a good distraction.

A nice person asks:

I do have one question for you though and I don't think that it has been brought up at all, maybe it has and it is just none of my business but, you can tell me that if you want to... How come the douchbag sperm donor does not pay child support? Maybe Jason could adopt your children, I mean they are his already right?? I have a douchbag X also.

If you haven't been reading my blog long, you might not know that very little is off-limits with me. The only thing I haven't and won't blog about is our sex life. I won't even tell y'all how fabulous it is. I don't want Jason to freak out.

Anyway...where was I going with this? Oh. Yes. My douchebag ex-husband is not off-limits.

As you might have already figured out, I'm pretty much an idiot. When my ex-husband left me he asked if we could not go through the courts for child support and that he would give me money on a weekly basis. The amount? $100 a week. Oh, and if there were 5 weeks in a month, he still would only give me $400.

This was for TWO CHILDREN.

I was an idiot. Did I mention that?

Anyway, at some point after we got divorced, he had kidney failure. I think he was twenty-four. Both kidneys. Failed. My dad who is possibly the nicest, most kind, most forgiving person on the planet said, "Well, that's what he gets for running off and leaving his wife and children", which is possibly the most shocking thing my dad has ever said, ever, but also? Kind of true.

At that point he completely stopped paying child support. Nine long months went by and one day my grandma called me and asked me why I wasn't receiving Social Security income for my children. I told her I didn't know what that was. I was clueless. She said that since he was receiving disability that the kids were entitled to Social Security income. So I called the local office and they contacted his local office where they reported to me that he had declared that he had no children.

No, I'm not kidding.

I confronted him on that and he said, "I'll just give you some money out of what I get" and I finally said, "The hell with you and trying to work with you" and filed for them on my own. I had to freaking PROVE to the Social Security office that they were his biological children (not hard...he's listed on the birth certificates, but humiliating).

God, he's such a douche.

Anyway. That's why. They get Social Security money and I don't have to deal with him and his sorry butt.

Oh and Jason doesn't adopt them because that would require contact with the sperm donor. And since we haven't had any contact in years and years and years, no need to stir the pot. Things are good the way they are now and both children insist they are part of The Ourlastname family.

Another nice person asked this, in reference to The Biltmore:

Ok so Chick why did you go there again?

One day I was sitting at my desk either working or complaining about how much work I had to do, when my phone rang.

It was Jason.

I was all like, "What a nice surprise!" Because actually? We almost never talk during the day.

And he was all like, "Would you like to go The Biltmore on the 14th?"

And I said, "Well YEAH."

And then he said, "Can you find someone to watch the kids?"

And I said, "Well YEAH."

So I did. So we went. It was amazingly beautiful.

A weird person asked:

Boxers or briefs?

I just wear those cotton fatty-lala panties that Lane Bryant sells.

If you mean Jason, boxers.

Numerous nice folks asked, in reference to the Google searches:

How'd you find out that people found your site that way? I guess Blogger doesn't do that, huh?

Well, all you do is get yourself a site meter. You can go to: and get yourself one, for free.

I have one on my page, but it's hidden.

Really, they are so cool. It tells you how many people come visit you, how long they stay, where they are coming from and, if applicable, what search brought them to your blog.

Like, for example, someone in Morristown, TN does a Google search for "Jason for the love of God" nearly every day. Hi, whoever you are!

As I type this, I can see that people from St. Louis, MO, Lexington, KY, Clifton Park, NY, and Lawrenceville, GA are all visiting. Hey y'all! Tell your mom and them I said, "WHAZZUP!"

It's just so cool. Every week I get a report telling me the total visits for the week and traffic predictions and so on. It's not perfect, but it's pretty good.

And finally, someone I don't know at all and who may or may not be nice asked:

What is your favorite part of Jason's body?

The biggest part of his whole body.

His heart. Of course.


frannie said...

after I left my biological father and moved in with my other family I went through this whole long thing with social security-- turns out my biological dad was stealing mine.

hey- maybe my sperm donor and boy and girl child's sperm donor is kin folk.

Anonymous said...

You are so right. J does have the biggest heart! And, the douche deserves to be on dialysis for the rest of his life for putting your through shit.

BandK said...

First of all, regarding douchebag ex -- what goes around, comes around, and he'll get his, if he hasn't already. Ugh. What a scumbag.

And also, thanks for the great info on SiteMeter!!! I LOVE that! How fun is that?!? I put it on my blog immediately, and I am having so much fun, tracking the visitors (oh wait, that's probably all my traffic, clicking on it to see if anyone's visited!) LOL Anyway, it is going to be a blast tracking where these people come from, and how long they stay. Gee, it feeds the voyeur in me! LOL

Thanks again, and thanks for being such a bright stop in my surfing! :-)

Karen in California

Angie said...

Hey there!

I just got done posting. I am so tired. I just couldn't help but leave you some love here.

You do me in. You really do. I love your honesty. I so seriously love your vocabulary. And, more than anything, I love how you describe your family--especially your wonderful Jason.

Great way to end my day. Thanks!

Dreamer said...

:) Thanks for the answers! I love your honesty, and I think it's cool that you are so open on your blog. :)

Anonymous said...

You know what I love? I love how much you love Jason! It's too adorable! :)

Denise said...

Thanx I was that nice person who asked why did you go there again?

Dawn~a~Bon said...

Hey! Your sitemeter will tell you that your insomniac friend visited your site at 1:21 am!

have a fabulous Tuesday, Ms. Thang!

Anonymous said...

Your ex is such a douche. I hate him. listed the city I live in in this post. I feel special. Or something.

Jason rocks it.

You? Are awesome :)

Sleeping Mommy said...

My mother only received 175 a month for me and that was set in 1979 and never changed. Whenever someone starts bitching about the amount of child support they or someone they know has to pay I make damn sure they know what its like on the other end.

And I get not wanting to stir that pot. Why do it for a piece of paper? What you all have doesn't need that.

Oh and the searches people find me from? Nasty. Why are people such pervs? For a while I removed myself from all search engines but that got boring so I put myself back into the cesspool.

Sleeping Mommy

Rachel (Crazy-Is) said...

Karma can be such a bitch!! That's what the douchebag gets!

Love the answer to the last question!!!

Kimberly Vanderhorst said...

So...ummm....once I brought your site up on my screen and then had to pee. And forgot about it overnight. I wasn't here for seven hours and thirty-two minutes. Really. I'm weird, but not that kind of weird.

Thea @ It's Me Vs. Me said...

Yeah, every once in a while I'll check on the searches people do to find me, but they are never nearly as cool...

...I wish I had cool searches...

dawn224 said...

yeah, sometimes it's just not worth the money to deal with the people. I hear ya.

Anonymous said...

Ha! St. Louis, MO was me! Hey back atcha!

SJINCO said...

Oh the site meter searches are great, but I never seem to get any funny ones.


And your very last line was great. Ya'll are so in love - and super cute :)

Anonymous said...

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