Thursday, February 07, 2008

The one where I answer a bunch of stuff.

Today I had an Important Meeting with Important People. It went well.

By 4pm however, my girdle was cutting me in half and the high heels that I never, ever wear had rubbed huge blisters all over my feet. I, stupidly, decided I would walk to my later meeting and that? Was a bad decision.

Anyway, I was going to be all smart and cool and write this great post tonight, but truthfully? I just don't have it in me. I still have to make dinner, help with schoolwork, and then I have at least two more hours of work ahead of me tonight so I'll be prepared for something tomorrow.

So instead of the fantabulous post I was going to write tonight? I'll just answer some of the questions I've been getting via email and comments lately. How about that?

I thought this was supposed to be a humor blog. This isn't funny at all!

Oh my freaking freak, I am so tired of this comment.


No one is.

I have a life outside of this blog. Not all of it is good. When it is not good, this is my place to write about it.

Some people don't like my blog. I get that. I would encourage those who don't like it to STOP LOOKING AT IT. It's not going to change. It's not going to get magically better just because you don't like it. I'm not going to change. You will still find me offensive, not funny, stupid, fat, ugly...whatever you find me.

Just stop reading. Then both of us will be okay.

Your job sucks. Thanks for the update Big Ben! All you do is complain about it. Why don't you get a new one?

Well holy crap, why didn't I think of that? All my problems are solved!

No seriously. I appreciate when people say, "You need to get out of there! I hope you find something else soon!" and stuff like that. Because that? Is supportive. That? Makes sense.

Random person who I do not know who emails me this? No.

Maybe they meant it supportively. But calling me out on complaining? Leads me to believe they probably DID NOT mean it supportively.

For the record, I'm looking for another job. I've applied for at least thirty jobs in the past three months. I applied for a job today. I'm trying to get another job.

Also for the record? If you had to work at my job, you'd complain also.

Additionally? For the record? I'm going to keep complaining about it, as long as I have to work there.

So. You know. Keep that in mind.

Don't you think it's inappropriate that your child knows what a penis is for?

No. Actually, I don't.

And for the record? He doesn't. But even if he did? I still wouldn't think it was inappropriate.

What's going on with that woman who works for Jason?

Oh my corncakes! Y'all! She QUIT!

She told Jason she would just have to quit because her daycare was so expensive. How having $0 a month is better, I have no idea.

Also? I don't care! She QUIT!

Why would you go and help Jason out at work after what happened before? I wouldn't give them any more of my time!

Oh, I know, right? I'm such a waffler. I was all like, "IT WILL BE A COLD DAY IN HELL BEFORE I DARKEN THAT DOORSTEP AGAIN!"

And then he asked and I was all like, "Okay."

Well, not really. He had to persuade me. But still, I agreed.

And the reason is? Well, I wasn't there to help out his company. I was there to help HIM.

Maybe it's silly, but I see our family as a team (which could be why Boy Child has decided to call me "Coach" recently). We all work together. Our success is all intermeshed. Our failure is too.

If we could do something that would benefit Jason then, in reality, it will benefit all four of us.

So maybe that's sappy. But that? Is why.


MdG said...

Whatever to those people who don't think that your blog is funny. You freaking make me laugh. Sure there is serious stuff too, but that's the great thing about your writing. Mixing it up, keeping it interesting.
Don't those people remember that "funny" jerk in high school, who was always funny, ALL THE TIME?!! He got pretty anoying pretty quickly.

I do hope that you find a better job, I'm glad you're out there looking. It makes me happy that you like to help out your husband, and you all are really a team.


Angie said...

Okay, so on Tuesday, as I drove down KP, I noticed TWO tax offices. One had some chick (not you, obviously) smoking out in front. The other. . . had two idiots dressed up like the Statue of Liberty trying to encourage our tired, poor, and huddled masses in to have their taxes done.

I immediately thought of Jason, and entertained the notion of stopping into either or both places, just asking for "jason."

I obviously didn't. And, of course, he might not work on KP.

And, for my $.02, you don't always have to be funny. Sometimes you're funny, I suspect, even when you don't aim to be. (And those are my favorite posts)

J said...

I'm glad you aren't funny everyday. It makes you more normal, duh. If you were funny everyday I don't think I could blog anymore, because I can't be funny everyday and I'm not 1/500 of the blogger you are. If you were funny everyday that would be weird.


To whomever said that it was inappropriate that Boy Child knew what that was---HELLO?? He HAS a penis.

What the hell do they teach people nowadays? That the technical term is 'wee-wee'??? WTF.

Military Mom said...

Please don't you ever change your blog. I do not come here to get a laugh, or to hear your quick wit (though I get it sometimes). I come here to hear YOUR thoughts whatever they may be. Screw everyone else who can't get that. And what ever boy child knows and doesn't know is your decision, nobody else's. I love your writing, and I hope you know how much we here in blogland appreciate your honesty and imagination. And I hope my comment the yesterday wasn't one of those that offended you.

Kimberly Vanderhorst said...

Gosh that was brilliant.

I can't get over what people think they have a right to nag you about. I mean, how do they expect you to react? "Oh yes, random stranger, your snarky comment has helped me see the light! I will conform to your ideals and make pleasing you my top priority!"


From my perspective, you're funny about 93% of the time. The other 7% you're extra special brilliant, just about serious stuff. Anyone who reads your blog with any regularity KNOWS you're looking for another job. So glad boy child isn't going to go into Grade 8 science thinking his Penis is called a wee-wee or something ridiculous like that. So glad the crazy chick quit. And so inspired by what a tight family you guys are. You're brilliant.

Domestic CEO said...

I'm a newer reader to your blog, actually found you while you were writing your saga about your first husband. I found it so moving that I had to quickly go back to the beginning (Part 1) and read through it all, and then every day would check to see if you had written the next part.

I really enjoy reading your blog. Obviously I don't know you in real life, but imagine that you talk just as you write. Even when describing serious, heavy, emotional stuff, your voice shines through making it so authentic (not to sound too much like Oprah or anything).

Anyway, after reading your post today, just thought I'd share MY comments!

Dreamer said...

I can't believe people would email you that kind of crap! Don't change a thing, we love you the way you are. :)

Jenski said...

You're great.
That's all.
Oh, and don't forget to breath.

Robyn said...

Haven't you figured out by now that you are supposed to keep the masses entertained at all times? Lest they put a hex on you...or...something. Dimwits.

My aunt told me that as soon as her daughter was old enough to ask what a penis and vagina and how do you get pregnant, then they are old enough to know the truth and to never lie about it! She was 6 when she asked all those questions! My aunt did not waiver and did not lie to her. I respect that and plan on doing that when my boys are old enough to ask whatever they want. We are parents and we are here to TEACH and lead them, not lie to and decieve them. Holy Christ eating a corn dog. With mustard.

Get a grip people.

I love this blog. I love how you write and I would love love love to have you as a friend in real life!

Anonymous said...

Funny all the time? No.

Real all the time? Yes. If you were funny all the time, you'd be faking it and that's not what we're in this for, right? Right.

And if that one guy read your blog with any frequency at all, he would KNOW that you are actively looking for a new job.


And if I raised my son to be embarrassed about his PENIS, then I think I would be doing his future wife a great disservice...

Blog on, friend. Don't change a thing.

Tricia said...

Okay see, the reason I love your blog is because, yes, you are really funny. But also? You are a real person too. It's a good combination.


I love your damn funny/sad blog. I read it every day. BUT I sure am glad BC and GC got born already and you got married to Jason because golly your life before him sure was making me sad.

Also, I hope whoever wrote the comment about innappropriateness of children knowing what their body parts are used for doesn't have children, because if they do, they are going to end up with children raising babies because "I didn't know that if you put that in there you got a baby..." Sad.

Tarasview said...

so... what you're saying is that you are human? wow... I had no idea.:)

Anonymous said...

Just something funny I noticed about your blog. You use a LOT of question marks! LOL

Anonymous said...

Everyone's already said everything. So I got nothing left to add. 'Cept, I'm here everyday, reading - enjoying your blog, Chick.


Anonymous said...

New to your blog and the blog world in general and I love it!!!

Don't change a thing!!!

Alpha Dude said...

You ROCK!!!!

Jill said...

he he i bet he DOES know what its for, judging by his age, he just doesnt let you know that he knows what its for! ha! and umm.. i think its cool to be called coach. that's kind of neat. my hubby and i say 'team 's' ' when we do something neat. or when we make a fabulous dinner together and take a bite.. its like, team S rules! i'd probably want to be called mom for at least oh 10 years or so.. once they hit the tween years, i might be okay with coach from boys at least..

Anonymous said...

Ah the stupidity of people... But hey, at least they give you fodder and something for us to laugh at.

I think you're just peachy myself.

SJINCO said...

Much love to you Chick. I think you are all that AND a bag of chips!

Unknown said...

ok, nothing to do with this post, but i just saw your comments over at OTJ which directed me here. It was nice to feel not alone that my mommy bear takes precendence over in-laws relations. i haven't spoken to sister-in-law or mother-in-law in over 4 years. But what do you do about the guilt of cutting out grandparents out of the lives of your children? So hard. Still straining my marriage. Gah!

Jocelyn said...

I like to think Englebert Humperdink is funny every single day. 'Cause he's got that name and all.

Penises are for peeing. Should your son not know THAT?

Rachel (Crazy-Is) said...

Some people are douchebags. Why in the hell would Boy Child not know what a penis is for? He freakin has one!!!! HELLO!!! He may not know exactly what it is for, but hell, it's not like the kids is 5 years old!

EE said...

Laughing at the penis question...OMG!