Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Monster, ye hardly knew me.

So, in my feeling of desperation and sadness about my personal situation, I signed up for Monster who promises me daily emails regarding jobs that would be just right for me and quite possibly change not only my outlook on life but my entire life itself.

Except, um, not so much.

I mean, granted, I feel especially honored that Monster thinks I could be the Manager of a Fortune 500 company (which apparently does taxes?), but significantly less honored when in the same email they list one of my top jobs as working as a cashier at a Pilot gas station. AND...AND! A sandwich "ARTIST" at Subway.

Now granted, Monster doesn't know that I use Turbo Tax and that touching raw lunch meat makes me physically ill, but still. Come on.

Basically? I'm getting the impression that Monster just collects any job whatsoever within 30 miles of my home and emails it to me.

I'm not sure what that says about me, or Monster.


Angie said...

Well, I'm guessing that they're just really covering their "monster-sized" butt. But still. .. I find it humorous that they're not a bit more discerning.

Maybe, just maybe they're suggesting that some of our local CEOs should actually pursue the art of sandwich making. . . ?

BandK said...

Maybe the Monster is just a rat, after all . . . LOL

I'm thinking that perhaps you set your parameters too loosely. Nothing worse than loose parameters! heh

I signed up for Monster, too, and was promised "daily" emails. I think perhaps MY parameters were too tight, as I rarely get email from them. At first, I got a few emails for "BIG opportunities!!!" "Make TONS of money!!" "No experience necessary!" I began to think I was reading the back of a bad magazine. Humph. Phooey on them.

Tell them you've whored yourself out to Sallie Mae and are obligated to her for life. Maybe that will help?!?

Good luck, honey! :-)

BandK said...

p.s. I think Monster probably works great for urban areas and big cities, but the rural areas? Not so much. I live in a "rural" area (i.e. not New York City, Chicago, San Francisco, or LA), we are north of Sacramento and even though we are a college town, we have roughly 100,000 people in town and the surrounding area.

So that's my thought.

the planet of janet said...

monster keeps offering me "media opportunities" with the u.s. navy. "may require relocation."


not so much.

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

Um, yeah. I haven't been a technical writer in eight years, yet Monster still keeps sending me tech writing job offers. Fascinating! I guess I should un-subscribe to their stuff, but I can't even remember the friggin' password. And I'm too lazy to change my info.

Gad, I'm so worthless.

Stephanie said...

I signed up for one of those job things before and I get emails about nursing positions. I certainly didn't lie and say I had an RN or LPN, so I am not sure why they think I need to have a job in the nursing field.

Anonymous said...

I hate putting sandwich artist (6 months) on my resume, but I do it to show how hard working I am, since I had another full time job on top of that.

Still, nothing says professional like the words "Sandwich" and "Artist"

Kimberly Vanderhorst said...


They don't let you "edit preferences" or anything? Not terribly helpful.

Steph in NJ said...

I had no luck at all with Monster, but after about 10 years I found a job through them last year.
One site that I found recently and *love* is Indeed.com. It searches all the job sites for you based on keyword and area, then emails you the results. Then you don't have to get separate emails from Monster, CareerBuilder, HotJobs, etc. AND it will sometimes pull something from a site that I hadn't know existed and it turns out to be something cool.

Anonymous said...

I'm not sure where you live in TN, but when I lived there, in Clarksville, it would only give jobs on base (Ft. Campbell) and for Nashville that were actually worth looking for. I guess it just works in cities. :)

Sarcasta-Mom said...

Monster is like that "Job Counselor" in high school who comes in, takes a few basic facts, and decides what career your destined for. Bleh.

Anglophile Football Fanatic said...

I agree with the above commenter. I am not a big fan. They are NOT worth your time.

Anonymous said...

That is lame! I never knew this about Monster.

Anonymous said...

It's like the cheer in Bring it On - 'that's alright, that's ok, you're gonna pump our gas some day'

Anonymous said...

Monster Schwonster. Never got anything from them except spam.

Richard Jennings said...

monster has sucked for 5 years, try these 3 listed by About.com as excellent:


I see 100K, 150K and 200K jobs

Jenski said...

Sounds like Monster needs more help than you do. For sure.

Smirking Cat said...

I still get emails from Monster offering jobs in Iraq. Sure, I'll get right on that!