Girl Child, on the way home from school: "Mom, do you know in the SpiderWick Chronicles? They say 'crap' all the time."
Boy Child, agreeing: "It's true mom! They say crap almost as much as you."
Chick: "I'll totally have to step up my game!"
Girl Child: "Know what else? They say LARD-ASS."
Chick, being wildly inappropriate as usual: *hysterical laughter*
Boy Child: "So?"
Girl Child: "It's a BOOK. You aren't allowed to curse in books, brother. It's against the law."
Chick: "It's not against the law, Girl Child."
Boy Child, in wonder: "Ass is a curse word?"