Sunday, December 17, 2006

I almost tripped: The story of my graduation.

Or the story of my life? Maybe.

I dunno. I thought my story about graduation would be...something. I keep waiting to feel something that I just haven't felt. It was funny and hilarious to get a gown that was the size of a tent. It was NOT funny that I felt myself start to trip as I went up the stairs (everyone swears they didn't notice anything, but, woo...I was wishing I had taken Hortense's suggestion to "get me some duct tape"). But that was pretty much a non-issue.

I've been feeling like I should feel smarter, or better. Or relieved. Or just, you know, something.

But I haven't yet. Other than the joy of being at the ceremony and the joy of seeing my daughter in her butterfly boots and taking pictures of my son wearing my mortarboard? Well, nothing really. I woke up at 2am, as usual, in a panic wondering how I was going to get everything done. I don't have any school work to do anymore.

It feels...strange. I thought I would feel free and light and happy and carefree. But I feel kind of hollow today.

Hopefully it will pass. Hey, I graduated!


velocibadgergirl said...

As with any huge life event, I think it takes awhile for graduating to really sink've been so stressed and so busy for so long, I think it just takes the brain a bit to catch up to current events ;)

CONGRATULATIONS, sweetie! You did it! (And you look hot in that kickass robe, too!)

Bethany said...


Anonymous said...

Any time you've been doing something difficult for a long time, stopping doing it is difficult too. You've adapted to the grind. Your shoulders have become stooped to the burden. Straightening up instantly just doesn't happen.

I know it feels like you're carrying around the same damn burden, but eventually you'll put it down. Eventually the exhaustion will give way to a shy pride in yourself, just for a moment. I promise you. It's a lot easier to acknowledge the size of your own achievements when you've gotten a little ways away from them and you look back and go "Whoa, THAT was a big mountain I climbed."

SJINCO said...

Congratulations!!!! What an accomplishment, you should be very proud of yourself.

julie said...

Congrats! That's great!

(I wish I had some butterfly boots, too.)

Jhianna said...

I'm way late - but congratulations!

I had a bit of that going on when I finally graduated too. It was such a let down because I'd wanted it for so long (I started college in 1986 and graduated in 2001). Doing the part time college thing while working stretches it out. Walking away from it and having nothing change just seems unreal.

Hope it got better! It's a source of quiet pride for me - but it might take some time to get there.